In many cases men are overlooked when discussing pregnancy and birth, but dads are a very important part of the birthing process and should not be forgotten. The fact is, your life is changing too and watching the love of your life give birth to your child is something so awe-inspiring and emotional that no one can prepare you for it. Birth is a complex, unpredictable and emotional time unlike any other you will ever experience.
A doula can be thought of as a wedding planner. It’s a very exciting and emotional day that you have both anticipated for a long time. But you wouldn’t want to be solely responsible for making sure the wedding flowers were delivered, that all the right music was played and everything she planned for happened - right? A doula takes care of all of the little things that make a difference during labor, but are often not noticed. A doula helps you keep perspective and guides you throughout the day, so that you both are satisfied and fulfilled.
Doulas also know that it is important for couples to have alone time during the labor, and she always grants them their space as needed. Doulas know how important it is to be intimate together, hold each other, laugh together, cry together, and be alone in your own space. We know that the baby was created in privacy and that you deserve the same privacy during your birth.
A doula’s job is to help the father shine in the mother’s eyes and feel good about himself throughout the birth. A doula will do this through subtle pointing, whispering, demonstrating and gesturing. By showing the father ways that can directly help the mother, the doula is able to take care of the behind the scenes things like documenting the progress of labor, making sure the mother goes to the bathroom and changes positions every half hour, fills the bath, brings many often forgotten items and takes pictures throughout the labor.
Often couples think that their nurse, midwife or doctor will fill most of these roles, but unfortunately that is most often not the case. For the majority of the labor you and the mother are left alone. This is often a reason for pain medication to be administered, because of your natural human instinct to save your love from pain. It is incredibly difficult to see someone you love go through something so physically and emotionally taxing. This is when many families change their minds about natural childbirth. A doula can help both of you work through the labor with confidence and offer you many suggestions to help you determine how you would like the labor to continue. Most importantly, a doula can reassure you what is normal and help you support the mother more throughout the labor.
The bottom line is that doulas and dads can be incredible teams in helping the mother birth their baby in the best way possible. With a doula you walk into the labor and birth excited, eager and with a friend who will be there with you throughout the most amazing time in your life.